Most people say “Apple.”

Others “Ant.”

The more creative blurt out “Aardvark.”

The crass “Ass.”

Dad – “Anti-communist. Anti-semitic.”

A week ago, dad collapsed outside the hospital after dialysis while waiting for a cab. His blood pressure plummeted. He was in the ICU for the night while they stabilized his blood pressure and tried to determine if he had a blood infection. On Sunday, while still in the ICU, he tried leaving the hospital “against medical advice.” He had done this before, but this time they gave him a psychological evaluation. He failed and they determined he was incapable of understanding the ramifications of his decision. They gave him a “sedative” to calm him. But later that night, he ripped out an IV so they put his hands in restraints. Not sure I have been able to process that yet.

Throughout the week, he got better, his mind cleared and during Friday’s psychological evaluation, they asked dad, “what is a word that starts with the letter ‘A’?” He responded “anti-community, anti-semitic,” passed the test and is now back at home. Doctors recommended he go to a in-patient rehab center for a week to regain his strength. He refused. The doctor mentioned hospice but he said, “I am not ready for that.” As a compromise, they set up a meeting to discuss in-home rehab and health care. He said sure and then quickly dismissed the nurse  when she came over to the house – she had halitosis.

So here we are, dad back at home, weakened again from a trip to the hospital but unwilling to accept home care that will help him regain his strength or even just improve his quality of life. He did vocalize that he is dying, so maybe that is the first step. All the while, the emotional shit-storm builds up force all around him… but that post must wait.

Bro